Being short has some disadvantages. You learn to cope. Being mature has some advantages. You learn to improvise. On my drive from Seattle to Texas, I had to improvise. After driving for 11 hours straight (except for bathroom breaks and for lunch), my shoulder harness was digging into my neck and I looked like someone was trying to behead me with a very dull knife. My neck was so sore by day two of my trip I decided I needed to adjust my shoulder harness lower. Next pit stop, I tried to adjust the shoulder harness but discovered it was as low as it would go. Time to improvise. I looked around my car to find something to wrap around the harness to keep it from digging into my neck. Maxi pads have many uses. Besides embarrassing the opposite sex, they make great shoulder harness pads! I had a maxi pad wrapped around my shoulder harness for about a week while I made the journey from Northern California to Houston, Texas. After traveling so many miles, you get used to whatever improvisations you’ve made. You get into kind of a traveler’s rhythm. So when I was stopped twice by border patrol, once in Arizona, and once in Texas, I had completely forgotten about my makeshift shoulder harness pad.
Border patrol guy: “Are you a US citizen?”
Me: “Yes.”
Border patrol guy: “Okay. Have a great day.”
Me: “Thank you.”
Wait. That was way too easy. Granted, I am the whitest person on the planet. Hey! I lived in Seattle for 12 years. I would burst into flames if I came in contact with the sun there. Sunshine was a rare commodity, to say the least. But still, I didn’t need to prove anything. Why didn’t that border patrol guy make eye contact with me after he looked in at me? Then it hit me. I had a large maxi pad (is that redundant?) wrapped around my shoulder harness to protect my neck. I laughed so hard it brought tears to my eyes. If you can’t laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at? :)
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